IN THE FACE OF SELF-DOUBT AND FEAR! - The stories we believe that are not true and how to cut through the noise

January 15, 2020

 

 

"I probably can’t. I probably shouldn’t. I'm not good enough. I probably don't have what it takes. I'm not as good as everyone else. In fact, everyone else is better, because everyone else knows what they’re doing, and I'm still just lost. I haven't figured out anything! I suck!"

 

We all have it, that voice in our head that sneaks in. Maybe we’re not even aware of it, because we’re so used to the voice being there.

But let’s flip the perspective for a moment, ask yourself this: How often during a day do you give yourself praise? How often do you tell yourself with real joy that “I can do this! I am capable! I deserve everything good! I am enough! I’m good at what I do!”? How often do you genuinely smile at yourself when you catch your own eyes in the mirror, as a token of appreciation for who you are and what you do?

 

We are SO used to being critical, especially towards ourselves, and also towards others. It’s linked, you see. If you are not appreciative and generous with yourself, it’s very hard to be appreciative, supportive and generous with others. That’s why we always hear “if you want the world to change, you have to start with yourself first”, because your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. How you relate to the things happening around you, is a reflection of your thoughts and believes. Are you grateful for the good, or are you constantly focusing on and judging the bad? Do you feel that life is something that happens to you instead of for you?

 

The real answer is that life is something that happens through you and from you. The law of attraction states that what we put out is what we get back. What we give is what we receive. Which means that what we’re lacking is what we’re not giving (food for thought. More on that later). What we believe, think, feel, the way we talk and act, becomes our reality. So, the question is, what kind of reality are we creating for ourselves and the people around us? What do we believe to be true? What stories are we creating our lives around? And where did the stories come from anyways?

 

For example, let’s say you had a difficult time in school as a kid. It’s not that you’re dumb or stupid, but the methods used in our school system didn’t really work for you. Cramming numbers and grammar didn’t do the trick for you. Your brain just isn’t wired that way. Does that mean there’s something wrong with you? NO! You are probably creative, so you need visuals, like mind maps and pictures or sound or hands on practical experience to connect the dots. Your thoughts don’t move linearly, they move in curves and circles and spirals. But the system wasn’t built in a way that could support this for you when you were young, which resulted in a feeling of never being good enough, or smart enough. So teachers, authority figures, in your young life treated you like you weren't anything special. They didn’t expect you to excel or to accomplish anything great, just average. And you absorbed this story as truth, you made it your story. Kids are extremely alert and absorb information like sponges. So this became true for you, though really it’s nothing more than a story, a misunderstanding, but still it became your reality. You accepted it as your story, and then you grew up. But the story kept on spinning, even though you became an adult, and it became one of your “truths”. You kept telling yourself that you were nothing special, and that you probably wouldn't accomplish anything great, that you were just average..

 

I realize that this example doesn’t apply to everyone, it’s just an example. What I’m trying to illustrate is how we create stories in our minds, identities, throughout our lives based on other people’s perception or int